Backbone

A six-night men’s retreat at Casa Tilo, in the forests outside Barcelona

5–11 October 2026

Build something real. Test your strength. Hold your shape. Tell the truth.

A lot of men have learned how to be agreeable, thoughtful and emotionally aware. Fewer have learned how to hold their ground: to say yes and mean it, to say no without collapsing or becoming cruel, to stay present in conflict, and to use their strength without apologising for it or turning it into a performance.

This is a practical, physical and relational retreat for men who want to become more capable, assertive, honest and trustworthy. It is not a week of lectures about masculinity. We will learn through work, challenge, conversation and contact with other men.

Build something real

Together we’ll build something lasting for Casa Tilo. We’ll choose a practical construction project suited to the place, the available materials and the time we have together. It will involve real tools, real materials and the satisfaction of making something genuinely useful with your hands. No prior experience is needed.

Test your strength

We will wrestle using a modified form of sumo and hike through the surrounding forest. Physical challenge is not separate from the inner work: it helps exhaust some of the performance and self-protection that normally prevent men from being honest with each other.

Fight where everyone wins

Drawing on Fight Wise, we will practise expressing preferences clearly, staying connected to ourselves under pressure, and disagreeing without collapsing or dominating. We will also work with moments when conflict becomes indirect, shaming or underhanded—especially in intimate relationships. The aim is to recognise power-under tactics, respond without capitulating or retaliating, and stay in integrity without turning towards hostility. We will practise noticing these moves in ourselves as well as responding skilfully when others use them.

Tell the truth

We will work with radical honesty, relational practice, journaling and small-group conversations. We will make room for subjects men often carry alone: loneliness, dating, marriage, fatherhood, sex, shame, ambition, friendship, purpose and the fear that we may not become the men we intended to be.

Carry responsibility

Participants will rotate through kitchen teams and practical leadership roles, helping to prepare meals and care for shared spaces. Leadership will not be an abstract topic: people will be relying on us.

This may be for you if…

• You are thoughtful and emotionally capable, but sometimes struggle to be direct.

• You accommodate others and later feel resentment.

• You want more confidence with conflict, boundaries, leadership, dating or partnership.

• You want physical challenge without macho theatre.

• You want contact with men who respect you enough not to indulge your evasions.

Participation conditions

Participants should have enough baseline fitness for hiking, standing, play wrestling and moderate exertion, but do not need to be athletic. Contact-based activities are optional. This retreat involves intensive group work. It is intended for people who can regulate themselves, respect consent and boundaries, receive challenge and ask for support. It is not suitable for someone in an acute psychological crisis, unmanaged withdrawal from substance use, or at significant current risk of harming themselves or others. Please disclose relevant injuries or medical conditions to the hosts. By booking, you confirm that these conditions are appropriate for you.

Coming with a partner and young child

If being away for six nights would be difficult because you are caring for a young child, contact us to discuss the possibility of bringing your partner and child. In some cases we may be able to arrange additional accommodation, provided your partner is responsible for childcare and you are able to participate fully in the retreat. Availability and additional costs will be agreed individually.

What this is not

This is not an anti-women retreat, a culture-war seminar, a military boot camp, a wilderness-survival fantasy or a week of performative toughness. It is also not psychotherapy.

Backbone is designed for people who were socialised as male, regardless of their current gender identity. If that describes you and you’re unsure whether the retreat is a good fit, please get in touch. We’d be glad to talk it through with you.

Hosts

Rich Bartlett (@richdecibels) is a leadership trainer, coach, co-founder of The Hum and co-host of Casa Tilo. His work focuses on collaboration, conflict, relationships, power and the practical skills that help people become more trustworthy to one another.

Gabe Broussard (@VividVoid) spent a lifetime honing his conflict skills, as a Marine, a startup founder and a martial artist for 16 years. He has since become a peaceful warrior, studying Zen, working as a counsellor and posting about spirituality on Twitter.

Practical details

Casa Tilo is a residential retreat house surrounded by forest in the Maresme region, approximately one hour from Barcelona. Guests arrive on Monday 5 October; the retreat opens with dinner and finishes before lunch on Sunday 11 October.

Your ticket includes six nights’ accommodation, all meals, the full retreat programme, and pre-arranged pickup and drop-off at Arenys de Mar train station. All prices include 10% VAT. Your journey to and from Arenys de Mar is not included.

Tickets and pricing

Choose one room option:

• Dorm room — three to four people: €400

• Shared room — two people: €500

• Private room: €900

Then choose your workshop contribution:

• Supported contribution: €500

• Standard contribution: €700

• Supporter contribution: €900

The three contribution levels provide the same retreat experience. Choose the supported rate if the standard price would create a genuine financial barrier. Choose the supporter rate if you can contribute more and help make supported places possible.

Complete ticket prices range from €900 to €1,800. Four private rooms are available, and room choices are allocated first-come, first-served.

After booking, read the Casa Tilo getting-there guide to plan your journey.

Cancellation Policy

• Deposits become non-refundable once the event is confirmed.

• Fully paid tickets are refunded only if the place is filled by another paying participant.

• Any refund excludes unrecoverable payment-processing fees.

• If Casa Tilo cancels, all payments are refunded.